real + raw

Why are you here?  Do you feel stuck?  Let’s talk about the elephant in the room: Childhood trauma. 

Ok!  I know what your thinking..."Whoa, Stacey, slow your roll. My issue is not childhood-related.  Your super off the mark here." What, too early for the Real + Raw talk?  Am I coming out of the box with the T word too early on in our relationship for you?  Here is the deal. Never have I ever worked with a client in which the issue, the "stuck", doesn’t root back to childhood. Never. I know. No one wants to hear it.  I get it.  But, I’m here to tell it straight.  There is no benefit to either of us for me to not shoot straight from the hip.  You want help.  I want to help.  The trust starts here.

When people come to me they are often super "stuck".  This "stuckness" could be one of a number of issues. Honestly, regardless of which "stuck" they come to me with, in some way shape or form it goes back, way back to a vital vivid crucial moment in life in which you were left feeling unsafe, unseen, unheard, unimportant, not enough or different. It is these experiences that are the root for this ever growing tree of "stuckness".  Now that we've set that straight, let's get to understand how and why you've been spending a lifetime dealing with the moments that occurred when you were young and what we can do about it going forward.

You are not alone.  Childhood trauma occurs more than you think.     A recent survey conducted by the National Survey of Children’s Health showed, excluding economic hardship, approximately 30 percent of children experienced one Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE) in their lifetime, and about 14 percent experienced two or more. According to a 2018 Child Trends brief, including a measure of economic hardship, about 45 percent of children have experienced at least one ACE. Parental separation and economic hardship are the most common ACEs regardless of race and ethnicity, though children of different races and ethnicities do not experience ACEs equally.  Child abuse and Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES) are serious public health problems and can have long-term impacts on health, opportunity, and wellbeing. This issue includes all types of abuse and neglect of a child under the age of 18 by a parent, caregiver, or another person in a custodial role (such as a religious leader, a coach, a teacher) that results in harm, the potential for harm, or threat of harm to a child. 

Common types of abuse and neglect:  Physical Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Emotional Abuse (behaviors that harm a child’s self-worth or emotional well-being ie name-calling, shaming, rejecting, withholding love, and threatening), Neglect (the failure to meet a child’s basic physical and emotional needs. Including housing, food, clothing, education, access to medical care, and having feelings validated and appropriately responded to.).  ACES can also show up when a child experiences or witnesses violence, abuse, or neglect or having a family member attempt or die by suicide. Also included are aspects of the child’s environment that can undermine their sense of safety, stability, and bonding, such as growing up in a household with: substance use problems, mental health problems, instability due to parental separation or household members being in jail or prison.  

The examples above are not a complete list of adverse experiences. Many other traumatic experiences could impact one's health and wellbeing.  

Any experience that leaves a child feeling unseen, unheard, unimportant, not enough, not worthy, insignificant, or different can have a life-altering effect that impacts that person into adulthood.

ACEs are linked to chronic health problems, mental illness, and substance use problems in adolescence and adulthood. They can also negatively impact education, job opportunities, and earning potential. 

Adverse Childhood Experiences can have lasting, negative effects on health, well-being, as well as life opportunities such as education and job potential. These experiences can increase the risks of: injury, sexually transmitted infections, maternal and child health problems (including teen pregnancy, pregnancy complications, and fetal death), involvement in sex trafficking, and a wide range of chronic diseases and leading causes of death such as cancer, diabetes, heart disease, and suicide.  

ACEs and associated social determinants of health, such as living in under-resourced or racially segregated neighborhoods, frequently moving, and experiencing food insecurity, can cause toxic stress (extended or prolonged stress).  Toxic stress from ACEs can negatively affect children’s brain development, immune systems, and stress-response systems. These changes can affect children’s attention, decision-making, and learning.  Children growing up with toxic stress may have difficulty forming healthy and stable relationships. They may also have unstable work histories as adults and struggle with finances, jobs, and depression throughout life. These effects can also be passed on to their own children. Some children may face further exposure to toxic stress from historical and ongoing traumas due to systemic racism or the impacts of poverty resulting from limited educational and economic opportunities.

B R E A T H E.  I know, it's a lot to take in and I'm here to help.  As a trauma-informed coach, I'm not only aware of the impact that these experiences have had on you, I have a full box of tools to help you move forward.  Yes, it is possible to go from surviving to thriving.  I've got you!  The first step in moving forward is awareness.